Hell of a night. Phone card fucked up since calling Martha yesterday. Don't know how many sleeping pills I took this night, seems like 5 + some valiums, didn't work, now it's 9AM, me fucked up. No coffee left in the studio, nothing left at all, hungry, no food, no future, no future for me... Need more pills, but how to get a doctor today, think it's saturday, not quite sure yet, have to wake up, have to...do something... Ate twice yesterday, problem is I can't eat too much at a time. Have to find the videocamera, must be somewhere around, Yeah, sure, can always drink some wine for breakfast, that'll do, maybe... Shouldn't have gone to bed so early. Maybe try to sleep again...
Yeah, slept for another 5 hours, red wine for breakfast since there's no coffee around. Vera called. Time to murder and create? Well, seems not to be quite a good idea, have to go and buy some more cigarettes, then we'll se what happens. Wonderful little female skeleton watching me. Think I had some work to do today, yeah sure, I'm not able to do such things today. More red wine!!! It's somewhere in the constitution of art, you don't have to work. Maybe a bath? Eh, no, no time for that. Dye my hair? Must be about six years since I did anything like that. Get some coffee. Sleep? Have to get more sleeping pills. Yeah, sure, there are many things to do... Where's my knives? Still can't find them. Can't find anything in this mess.