Another morning, spent the night working in the studio, extraordinary painkillers made me feel OK. No time to go out drinkin', had a few beers a few days ago, that's all, & 2 beers with Tony some days before that, & a few shots of vodka yesterday, no reason to drink, wounds have to heal before & painkillers is enough for me right now. Didn't go to the nurse today, have to go everyday to clean my wounds, fuck, I hate that, can't plan anything, was eventually supposed to leave the country for a while, but no, have to see nurses everyday, hate, hate, hate! Not doing much, sketching, but head is empty, no inspiration, think I need sex if I shall be able to create something, but no, want & don't want to fuck someone, have to decide what to do, to fuck the wrong person makes me feel sick. Feels better to be in the studio since I don't sleep here every night, now I can work again (have to do a few boring jobs for the web, but what the fuck, I can at least make some money). Quite cold in here, no heater anymore. Need some more coffee. Need pussy. Need cigarettes & art. Need a new brain & more money. Fuck, I want to get drunk, haven't been that since August, can't remember what it's like. Well, no alcohol means no hangovers. I'm bored, so bored...