Coffee, early in the morning (one of these days; 13:26; I could have slept for another 2 hours). Should go downtown and buy some brushes, but fuck, there's snow outside! But of course, need to get some grocery, coffee, wine? No, can't afford wine, and frankly, drank too much of that stuff last week, no good combination together with pills; made some stupid things during the drunken weekend (if I will continue that way I will ruin the few good things in my life too, and then there's not much left of it). Fuckin' problem is suddenly I don't know what to do with my life, or rather, I know plenty of things I wanna do, the problem is which way to go. Well, before I decide I need more sex and money, that's for sure, such things makes me think better. Until 2 weeks ago I was working like a maniac, now head is totally empty, no ideas, no love, no feelings. It doesn't take much to turn my situation upside down. Maybe some more coffee will make me think better...