| Another party-week has passed, and of course strange things happen. Had some quite strange dreams, one of them about Martha, she had smeared her face with plaster and treated it about the same way she's doing with her films, and suddenly she started to stab herself with skrewdrivers and knives and then she turned into something like the woman in the bathtub in "The Shining" or Henrietta in "Evil Dead II" and I couldn't stand to see her like that, I had to run away, heart full of pain, next day I was thinking call her up to see if she still was alive, but all of a sudden she sent me a message, the first one for months, it made me feel OK again; and the same evening I met a lovely girl and had another great experience, all of a sudden I'm back to reality again after years of sexual frustration (at last I lost my interest in sex). Don't know what to do today, no money left, no wine, no pills, have to live on coffee and cigarettes for a while, about 2 weeks. Need to feel more skin. Still feeling OK because of the pills I ate yesterday, but I need more, for sure; they prescribe me some good stuff that makes me feel calmer, but then when I'm out of pills I feel even worse; have to start a new life, can't go on like this. Well, I'm still alive... |
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