I'm so sad because I am losin' that girl. Well, I can't go on like this, it seems to be the rollercoaster of Death (up-down-up-down &c.), it can only end in one way. I don't know what's going on, I don't know what happened; too much booze and pills and stuff. Anyway, think I lost her, so what to do? I will not cry, no... Went and bought tobacco, it's raining. Buddy Holly and Paul Verlaine. And Brenda Lee. Have to call Boel and explain what happened, if I can. But I think she has more to explain...