Well, well, well (or whatever Rebecca said), another day in my stupid life. Hangover, Boel made me drink too much yesterday. Thinking a lot of her today. I like her, but I wonder in which way, like her as a friend, that's for sure, well, don't know what to say right now, she gives me hang-ups, absolutely, but there are other girls, whatever, whatever. Micha asked me yesterday if I still love her (right in front of her), and I didn't know what to answer, so I said "No!" (still right in front of her), but I'm quite sure I didn't mean that. Should have gone north today to see Cecilia (one of them), but she phoned me in the morning sayin' she wasn't well, so I suppose I have to do something else, don't know exactly what, think I go down to the bar or whatever. Red wine, a cigarette, bored, so fuckin' bored; been lyin' in my bed all day, reading press cuttings, a lot of people doesn't seem to like my art, like that moron in Stavanger who wrote that I did "bad-taste-paintings" and that I for sure must have been on drugs when I did them, amusing! Of course I suppose he don't know anything about the constitution of art, and for sure I like when people are writing such stuff about me, it's fun; but I was not on drugs, the paintings was mainly about art history, especially I thought of Cimabue, Bosch, Carravaggio and Paul Delvaux (but that painting was never showed, stupid because if it had been that my intensions should have been clearer). And I wasn't on alcohol and stuff, just a few glasses of red wine; it's impossible to create when you're on drugs, at least most kinda drugs. If I take drugs it's in usual cases because I'm sad, depressed or can't sleep (and of course alcohol when I'm in a party-mode). Took a pill this morning to sleep a little longer, it didn't work, so then I took some of that "white-mixed-with-a-touch-of-yellow-ochre" to wake up, and now red wine, well, I allow myself to have a day like this because I'm so confused about things. And I'm a little scared because I don't know where to live this autumn; well, still got some months to find something, so why worry? Thinking a lot about Boel and Cici and Nina and - yeah - Martha, and this summer goes too fast. No sex for a month, but I don't care. I can do with hanging out, meeting the few people that still are in town (still wonder where everybody are), listen to the Ramones, and work a little (but not today). Maybe phone Tommy, the other Tommy (too many are wearing that name). Yeah, I'll phone him after another glass of wine. Would be nice to leave this town, at least for a couple of days...