Some hot weeks has passed. Hate my life, no money and soon nowhere to live, don't wanna go back to the studio, that's for sure. Where are all people?! Well, no money to spend, so I hope I will get some back soon, can't even pay my bills like it is right now, fuck I will never lend people money again!!! Need money, Cici will be somewhere around next week, haven't seen her since my last trip to Liège (2 years ago). So I stay at home as much as I can, trying to save money I haven't got. Now drinking coffee, have been awake for almost 4 hours, and now the skies are blue again. Tonight I can watch vampires on TV, yeah, endless nights among vampires, better than to lie awake watching the ceiling. There is food and coffee and cigarettes around, I don't have to starve for a couple of days, the problem is that I'm so bored. Went out a few nights ago, but - fuck - I can't drink (it's kind of nauseating), and the other stuff that makes me awake isn't good for me. And I should paint something, think that would be a good idea, except for the fact that my brain's fucked up, no ideas. Wish I could be more active, I into another depressive state, my time is fuckin' wasted...