A long night passed, at home with friends all too awake playing stupid games, waiting for Boel to show up with more wine (about 2AM), she phoned me 3 times between 3 and about 4, then I gave up waiting for her; however, she showed up around 5, blood all over her face, deep wound beside her left eye, another accident in her life (as if it wasn't enough with all the bad things that has happened to her the last months). She wanted to sleep but we persuaded her at last to go to the hospital, Pony followed her, wish I had, can't get rid of the feeling that it in some sense was my fault (I know it's not, just like when she broke her arm last year). So, ate some tough pills to be able to sleep, felt quite bad (almost like last week when she phoned me at night and wanted to come over; she was drunk and sounded quite miserable). Slept for some hours, then woke up and did some bad things to get even more awake, now heart is pounding. Well, have done some work today, even if my head is occupied with thoughs about how she feels today, she broke her cellphone so I can't call her, and anyway she's out of town by now). Question is what to do this evening, don't wanna go out (and I'm out of cash anyway), or maybe I want to, but there seems to be no point in hangin' out among the living dead when she's not there...