X-mas is over, what more can I say? Sitting at home feeling sad and nervous, don't know what's wrong with me. Fell asleep at 11AM this morning, this will be another long night; wish I had something to drink or pills to sleep, but no way. Christmas eve was OK, me and Petra stayed awake all night (after the annual party at the SkyBar), started to drink Pernod in the morning and watched TV all day; Boel phoned and came over, so I had someone to amuse me and to sleep with. Fuck, now I miss her, should be perfect to lie beside her holding her tight, some kind of consolation. And Sara left town yesterday, said she had been sick all Christmas, and I haven't met Cici yet, wonder if she's still in the country. Think I'll make some calls, trying to get someone to talk to; Petra's asleep and I will let her continue to sleep. Need consolation...