Oslo - a short guide for tourists and artists

Before going to Oslo buy a map somewhere, you'll need it for sure, also don't forget to wear comfortable shoes as you have to walk a lot (not that the city is especially big but...well...you'll find out). And don't forget to bring a lot of money, everything is fuckin' expensive! Bring as much alcohol and cigarettes as possible before going there, if your not stinking rich.

On of the first things you'll see is construction workers everywhere, constructing whatever, they seems to be crazy about building things. Second, the central parts is occupied by junkies, looks like the central station in Hamburg.

The main street of Oslo seems to be the only part of the city that has some nice buildings, some neo-classicism, rest of the city is a big nowhere.

There are some nice bars there, but prepare to pay about €5 for a beer (that contains less than 5% alcohol) and don't even think of buying some stronger liquor). At the hotels you can find mini bars, seems not to be anything stronger than wine in them (about €9 for an 18 cl. bottle of bad red wine, but of course, if you're smart enough you check out before they know it; another good trick is to fill the bottles up with whatever - piss is a good suggestion - and put the bottle caps back, some cleaning women are stupid enough just counting the caps).

About eating: If possible avoid eating in Norway, whatever you eat you'll not find the trace of taste. Junkfood and pizzas are quite expensive (and the pizzas are definitely nothing even the Norwegians will recommend).

About sight-seeing: You can go to the National Gallery, you can go to the harbour to watch even more junkies, you can watch construction workers. It's seems like the government has set a lot of money to invest in art, most of it's bad, but if you're lucky maybe you'll find something of interest (yeah, sure, good luck).

For sure, there's a cathedral there too, not so very old, not so very interesting, but whatever.

Some funny people are living there too, but it's up to you to find out...